Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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