I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
