He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
