The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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