I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
