we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
