the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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