your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
