I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
