Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Quick, to the slutcave!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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