Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
