how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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