You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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