We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
that may or may not have been my penis.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
