also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
my liver is dry heaving
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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