I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
