drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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