I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
