I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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