I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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