he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
