I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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