Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
