I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
