How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
