if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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