Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
