Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
