after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
