4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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