he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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