Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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