Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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