So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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