So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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