I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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