I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
