FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
