I got chris browned last night
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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