The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
