She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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