Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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