addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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