Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
