If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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