We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
