I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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