Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
