I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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