His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
