Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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