I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
