so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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