i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize