It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
