I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
