when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
im six kinds of drunk right now
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
