Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
How external is "for external use only"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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