Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
