My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
