Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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