sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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