just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
