I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
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The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
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Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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