Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
